Posted May 25, 2013 by rhita in Article

How to cope with the situation when your ex-partner is your colleague?

In a difficult situation
In a difficult situation

In life many unexpected things can happen and your workplace may not be an exception. However, when factors from your person life make an appearance at the workplace, you may feel baffled or perplexed sometimes. This can happen when you find out your ex boyfriend or girlfriend has joined the organization. It may also happen that you fall for a colleague but some years down the line, the relation does not survive. What do you do in such situations? Frankly, it is not a practical ideal to leave the job simply because a relation did not work out or your ex has joined the workforce. You need to chalk out clearly defined strategies to cope with such trying times and continue with your job successfully.

First of all, you need to decide exactly what terms you will keep with the concerned man or woman. Based on the understanding you had with him or her when you parted ways, you may choose to talk or avoid each other. It may be difficult to implement though. In big companies, there are lots of employees and you may not actually need to interact with your ex, if he or she is in different department. In small sized organizations this can be a tad tricky. You have to be really careful if the person joins your department. At times, not talking and maintaining distance can work for both the persons. If avoiding each other does help you to focus on work and become more productive, there is no harm in that either.

Be professional in your approach to your ex, if you need to talk to him or her about work related matters. Maintain a neutral tone in your conversation and try not to say things that fall outside work. However, exchanging basic pleasantries is not bad. If differences crop up, avoid reacting rashly. Be calm and professional just like you would do with any other colleague in similar situation.

It is not advisable to discuss the relation with your ex, including why it did not work out with other colleagues in the company. It will not lead to anything productive in the first place. Accept the fact that both of you have moved on and cribbing behind back does not portray you as a nice individual. Besides, if your ex finds out you are back biting about the relation, it will hurt him or her. If you resort to mean measures like gossiping for settling vendetta, there may be retaliation which may make the workplace an unworthy place to be in. Consider the fact that doing so will give some colleagues means to gossip about two of you and your personal affair will become source of spicy office conversation.

It may hit you hard if you see your ex getting close to another colleague or someone trying to flirt with the person. While it is hard to cope with, accept the fact that both of you have moved on and your ex has a right to choose a companion. After a relation that failed to work, both the partners can try their luck again. You are also free to get cozy with someone you like as it is.

You may have grudges against your ex because he cheated on you or acted in an abusive manner during tenure of the relation but it would be wise not to get back to him or her at work. It will not be a nice move to make him appear as careless or irresponsible to management or employer to settle your scores. Besides, if your act is exposed it will only lower your professional credential to the company and management. This will definitely not be good for your career growth.

It is natural that the first few days when you spot your ex joining the company, you mind will be distracted. To avoid thinking of the relation and related issues, keep yourself busy. At work breaks, work out at office gym if possible. Treat yourself to a nice dessert or snacks after reaching home. This is the way you can make your mind diverted from his or her thoughts and with time, it will get easier on you.