Posted April 10, 2013 by rhita in Article

How to ensure your live-in relationship works as you dream about?

Living in a daydream
Living in a daydream

With time, the importance of marriage and people’s perception abut this social institution has changed. Along with developed nations, a lot of people all over the world are opting for alternatives to marital knot for relationship. Despite criticism of puritanical lot, the popularity of live-in relations are growing with time. Along with general men and women, people with same sex orientation are also opting for live-in relations these days. If you want to be in a live-in relationship, it is necessary that you get mentally prepared well. Such a relation differs from conventional marriage in some vital aspects. The freedom and flexibility also comes accompanies with some downsides. If these issues are not taken care of from the beginning, the longevity of the live-in relation may be at stake.

The biggest hurdle for a couple who are in a live-in relation is the agreement about financial issues. Nothing can sour the charm of a relation more than arguments ad disagreements over spending and bills. It is prudent that both the persons are financially independent and they discuss sharing rent, bills and expenses before delving into the relation. Some people ignore this aspect thinking their love for each other will override such aspects but this factor can become the Achilles’ hill in the relation.

Before getting onto such relation, you and your partner may live in separate houses or apartments. It would not be a prudent idea to move in at the place of any one. It is better that both of you move to a new place together. This will eliminate chances of ownership based arguments that start with ‘my place’.

It is very important to keep the element of romance alive in a relation and live- in relations are no exceptions either. You have to find ways to keep the other person feel that he or she is special for you. There will be drudgery of mundane life but it is up to you to keep the spark alive and maintain the ambiance soothing.

In alive in relation, sharing of tasks and chores is very important. Men in such a co-habitational bond should remember if they behave like typical chauvinistic husbands that will kill the relation very quickly. It would be wrong to look at things from gender perspectives like women should cook at most times and do the laundries etc. In a live- in relation both the partners are supposed to share such chores. You can in fact plan a schedule and ensure both of you adhere to it. This will minimize chances of clashes over petty matters.

Sexual intimacy is a part of live in relation and heterosexual couples should avoid pregnancy. It is important to use pregnancy prevention measures, whether it is condom or contraceptive. This is essential if you want to carry on in live- in mode and do not want to get married in near future. Pregnancy and subsequent childbirth can alter the existing dynamics of a live in relation.

At times, you may have reservation or grudge about a particular male or female friend of your live in partner. It can happen to both or one of the partners. However, do not let the third person become a source of discontent and fight in the relation. If you feel the friend of your partner is too nosy or has a way of behaving that puts you off, discuss it with your partner without using a blaming tone. However, it would be wrong if you keep the grudge bottled up inside and take it out on the partner. It will be unfair to him or her and will inevitably sour the relation.

You need to give your partner some space and understand individual likings. For example, he or she may be into sports while you like watching comic soaps and serial on TV. After work, find a way to enjoy your individual TV shows rather than fighting over the remote. Similarly, your partner may want to take you for a lavish diner at restaurants in weekends but you may have penchant for a quiet dinner at terrace. At times, you need to look at such things from a neutral perspective to iron out clashes.